Cravings

Why is it that anywhere from 9:00 to 11:00 at night do I start craving things... ok, not things... food. Not just any kind of food, but things that aren't good for me - ice cream, chocolate, nachos from taco bell. The other kicker is that my cravings are always things that I don't have in my cabinet or refrigerator.  This is probably a blessing in disguise because by this time of night I really don't want to get up and drive somewhere to get whatever food I wish I had.

The human heart craves things too - comfort, security, affection. Unlike my chocolate brownie addiction, these things aren't bad for me. They are molded into us as humans and are part of how God created us. What IS bad, however, is when we turn to places other than God to fulfill our deepest desire for comfort, security and affection. To some extent people in our lives are made to provide that community,  belonging and being needed we so desperately want.  We should have affection and love within our families and friends. We should feel secure in our homes and relationships. But all of these things at some point can fail and disappoint us, unfortunately can wound and hurt us. They were never intended to reach us to the core of our soul and meet those needs in our heart. That place is reserved for God and him alone.

I believe that at times God removes the comforts and security we have in our lives because we become so dependent on them that we have replaced our need for God. We tend to fill our lives up with people, activities, possessions because there is a need we want met by something, someone, somehow...

We will never be satisfied until we live by this verse:
This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge,
 my place of safety; he is my God and I trust him.
Psalm 91:2

No Fear

I heard an amazing testimony on Klove this morning. A gentlman called in and explained that he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He referred to it as a "bump in the road" and his "testimony". If he was going down with this he would do it in a way that was going to bring glory to God. And if he was going to live and survive it would be all for God's glory. He said he had nothing to fear because either way, it was all in God's hands.

I don't know how everyone else reacts, but when the doctor in the ER mentioned cancer as a small possibility with Brayden's cyst... I was not thinking to myelf, "eh, just another bump in the road". And why not? Fear. It's fear that strangles out that kind of faith. I'm not saying that cancer is no big deal... or that life's struggles are no big deal. They are huge and sometimes they mean life or death. Grieving is real, pain is real. Life is difficult and struggles can hurt. But I need to remember to live out of faith and not out of fear. God's got me in his hands and there's no better place to be.

Isaiah 41:10 says, "So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

For me, fear comes because of my lack of control over a situation. I have no control over my children's health and future, job hirings or firings, what others can say or do to me, how people react, or what any day of my life holds for me ... But, God is holding me. And just like this man on Klove, I DO have control over choosing fear or choosing faith.  

Deserts and Desserts

A teacher explained to my class one time how to know the difference in spelling between desert and dessert. You always want more dessert, so it has and extra "s". I usually do want more dessert, more good and sweet things in my life. Who doesn't? :)

The best "good" in my life, the one thing I should always want more of is Jesus. And I find myself seeking and craving him the most when I'm in the deserts of my life. David wrote this when he was in the desert of Judah, "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Sometimes we find ourselves in yucky place in life. Bad things happen ... even tragic things happen. They don't happen without God knowing and allowing them. That's hard to swallow and understand for me sometimes, but I do believe that there is always a purpose and reason God has for bringing us to the desert. It's in the desert that we usually find our "dessert" :) The sweetness of depending on God, of growing in our faith and becoming dependent on Him for our next step, our next breath, our hope.

May it not take a desert to make me crave the dessert. May I desire God and cling to Him in all of my circumstances all the time.